Why Going to Mass once on Sunday isn’t enough.

People will think I’m crazy encouraging Catholics to go to Mass twice every weekend when they don’t even want to go once.

I’ll admit that, if I weren’t one of the musicians at my parish, I never would have thought about going to Mass twice or three times a weekend. Because it’s my job, however, I’m more-or-less forced to go (unless I don’t want to keep my job). I remember thinking This is a lot of Mass when I first started playing and singing at my church. Maybe too much. I reckon I got used to it.. as if I had a choice. I wondered if the time I spent at Mass took away time I could be spending elsewhere — with my family, or going out with friends.. you know, actually living out what I would only be lectured at during the Mass sermon anyway.

But how do you know what they’re going to talk about if you don’t even take a moment to listen?

You don’t.

This is what I’ve realized during the summer. You see, I had purposely taken some Saturday evenings off to make it to parties on time and even some Sundays off to catch an early flight to wherever I wanted to go that weekend. I’m not going to lie – this has been one of the best summers of my life. I have been able to spend more time with my family than ever before and I feel a greater sense of belonging within my family and sometimes–in the moment— at peace with myself. The good feelings seemed to have disappeared with the sunlight, however.  When everyone would go home and I would be laying in bed, reflecting on my day, I would try to pray, like I’ve made it habit to. I tried to say my general Thanks for this, it was amazing and I hope you can help me with this .. but I found that I didn’t feel right asking. I mean, I ignored God all day, for many days at a time, and now I wanted to pretend like we were best buds? Who am I kidding? The anxiety I felt before bed was because I felt disconnected from something.. from someone. And it took me until this weekend to figure out what it was.

It’s almost August and my church schedule is getting back to normal: I have played two Masses this weekend for the first time in about a month and a half,  and I already feel the difference. Because I’m at church two times, I have a chance to listen to the readings two times. Each time, I hear something different that stands out to me. I’ve realized that the first time I hear the reading, I get the story. The second time it’s read, I seem to hear the sentences, or words, that were “hiding” before – and it’s usually these words that I hear the second time that mean the most and relate most to what I need to hear at the time.

It’s the sermons that you go to Mass twice a Sunday for, however. It’s the sermon on Saturday that makes me think, but it’s the sermon on Sunday that hits me hard. Many times, the sermon is completely different, though it’s inspired by the same Gospel. It’s the opportunity to hear two different angles to the same story and find what I need in both. It’s an incredible feeling, knowing that there is something I really missed this summer; I missed the chance to feed my soul even more – I know I’d be happier if I had.

I’d have had the peaceful feeling all summer, like I do right now. It’s not like a “hey, everything’s perfect now” peace. Instead, it’s a peace that reassures me that I don’t need to worry. I never realized that I get this peace from getting an extra dose of Mass. It’s like spending time with a friend you only see once a year. If you see them only once, you get the surface story – the main points. If you start seeing them weekly, however, or even on a daily basis, you start getting the details. It’s in the details that lie the peace. It’s the details that assure me I’m being taken care of, even if I feel like I’m alone.

And, like everything else, you can only hear the details if you listen more than once.